My close friend's five-month-old has been battling leukemia at St. Jude for the past three months and we got some pretty rough news this week. Friday, I cried and prayed all day and night. Saturday, I worked birthday parties at Jill's from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. I left covered in icing, pizza, and sweat. Then, I went to my friends' house for a party. I am completely spent.
Halfway into the party, all of my friends remembered that a band was playing that they really wanted to see. So, they all went to the jackrabbit lounge to see Pyramid Scheme. I am too young to get in, still. It is really annoying. I wish they would just put "X"es on my hands and let me in. I am not going to try to buy alcohol. I'll save that rant for another day.
Instead, I drove around. Last night, the world was softer. The damp ground was a lullaby. I parked my car in Brittney's driveway and sat in silence for thirty minutes. For the first twenty minutes, a sense of serenity washed over me. I don't know when I last felt peace like that. I was awake but had no thoughts in my mind. After that, I started to feel crazy. Even as sober as I was, I felt...medicated. I tried to remain silent. I wanted to see this experience through. I cannot explain it well; but, I was starting to feel like I was separated from myself. After about ten minutes, though, I just had to turn on the radio and sing along with the oldies.
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